Flowers Of Despair

People just don’t wake up and kill themselves.

I killed myself
Over and over again
I tied a knot
And my neck dangles on it
I loaded a gun
And my mouth swallows the bullet
I gathered pills
And ingested them till my tummy gravitates
I inhaled poison
As if it was nectar.

The thought of killing myself
Took me through many days
I wanted to reject life
Felt the temptation to do it
I longed for death
To stop the neurosis of my mind
I stared into the abyss
And wanted so much to drop in it
My pain was catching up to me
My misery, my vulnerability, my nakedness
I thought about dying
To protest against life
And I respected those who could do it
There’s never a why?
The reason for committing suicide
Belongs to the suicider alone

People just don’t wake up and kill themselves.

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