5OMEDAYS

Some days are empty
Some days are dark
Some days I’m devoid
of the will to live
And my soul beckons onto death
Some days my monsters
Come out to play pullin’ me @ both arms
Some days my pains engulf me
And all I have left are the scars
Some days I think about it all and laugh
Someday it will all end and I’ll be free

I’ve been @ the edge
And I’ve gone over
To grasp my darkest fantasies
They call me crazy nuts
But crazy is splendid!
Their sanity hinders them
What a pity
I’ll keep goin’ over edges
I am crazy therefore I live…

Let me be in this darkness
Do not put on the light
I’ve got skeletons in my closet
And they’re jam-packed
The skeletons come out
To haunt me, taunt me
Pokin’ the skeleton within me
I’m their fun
They follow behind me, beside me
Then walk ahead me
Actin’ as my shadow
The only time I get liberation
Is at the dead of night
Within absolute darkness
Where they can’t see me
And I can’t see them
A ray of light and they’re back
Floodin’ unto me like ants on sugar_

I died on the night I was born –
and

I only just knew yesterday –
while

starin’ at the ghost grinnin’ –
from the mirror_

S.A.D

I'm sad 
And it's not new
Except I'm sad in my sadness
I'm losin' parts of myself
The voices cryin'in my head
Raises the questions
What next? Where else? 
I'm tired
I'm gettin' worn out 
But i'm not runnin' 
I'll stand and fight still
I'd lose everythin' else 
Before I lose myself.

.MY.DEMONS.

My demons are real

They haunt me

No matter how far I run

They find me

My demons are mean

They live inside my head

Breathin’ through my every thought

And beatin’ on the confines of my skull

They are never silent

My demons won’t die

No matter how much I punch

I never win

My demons are real

They live inside my head…

 

BLACKNESS_

In the dark corners of the night
The blackness of the blackest hours
My shadows are lost
My monsters are blind
My secrets are laid bare
I relish in my lust
and dwell admist my pains

ABOUT THE DARK

Beauty of The Dark

The dark interests me. There’s something about the dark that’s stimulatin’_ something terrifyin’ and both at the same time beautiful. There’s this avalanche of emotions that sprouts out from my dark thoughts_ something i can’t pin down. and each time i enter into this world of no light, i feel a passion, an energy flowin’ in me, so strongly i become whole. There are little or no mysteries in the light, but there are in the dark, mysteries that our minds can’t fathom, our imagination won’t capture. It is this mysteries I yearn for, the things the darkness hides.

Shadows

Lurid thoughts. Vivid imaginations. Sarcastic appeal. Tragic intentions.

A glimpse into my mind and you’d be shocked what you see. Only you can’t even see into my mind, for it is a bit rusty and dark.

I think of abducting a lady who smiled to me on the bus. I want to take her up into my room, tear open her heart and look how fast it beats. I want to taste the blood that flows out of her, feel the warmth quench my thirst.

I think of thrusting a dagger right into the heart of the man who greeted me this morning. I want to see his soul depart from him, stare straight into his eyes and watch how he transcends between worlds.

I have a longing to possess the baby whose laughter echoed from behind her mothers back, disrupting the thoughts I entertained. I thought of hanging her neck and watch how it cracks…

My mind doesn’t dwell in darkness. It is
the dark. So don’t pry into what you’re not ready to see.

Don’t ask me questions if you’re going to be afraid of the answers. Don’t ask me to be myself, then despise me.

Only if you knew how much hate I am capable of; you’d appreciate the little love I show you.

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INspiration

I choose when to be inspired

How do I get my inspiration?

Its simple. I wait for it to be dark, really dark. Then the moment the street lights are switched on, I put my bag pack with denim shorts on. Stroll down the drive lane, so just to contrast the speed of cars as opposed to the speed of my thoughts. I buy a cigar and borrow a lighter. I watch the flames of smoke puff out my nostrils, simultaneously arousing unspoken words in my cranium. Poems, poetry, lyrics, music, art. All just from a puff in the dark. I give back the lighter, I walk back into the light… My inspiration is gone.

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