Heart heavy
Mind static
Blood racing
I can’t place the feeling
I almost do
But the feeling changes like traffic lights
Red then Yellow then Red and then Green
I can almost say what the colour is
Almost
and that’s it
I feel lost but I also feel found
At the intersection where the world ends and another begins
At the junction of a sentence where you contemplate
Is it a semicolon or a period?
You then wonder what little babies do when they are to be born
Are they ever ready?
Or is that why at the crucial point they are pushed out
Prepared and yet Unprepared
Maybe like little babies we can’t stay enclosed in the womb forever
We must step out_
Unprepared but still prepared.
Blue Skies & Red Peppers
And John answered and said “A man can receive nothing unless it has
been given to him from heaven….”
And Jesus asked for what shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world
and suffers the loss of his soul?
The allure of heaven is a place I can’t afford to miss
I have seen a lot of groaning on earth to imagine what hell must be like
Maybe our collective purpose on earth is to create our own heaven
I don’t know
Or maybe it is to give out love in so much proportion the world is full of people who are
lovers of their next neighbor
Whatever it is, don’t gain the whole world at the loss of your soul
Whatever it is, don’t forget that you’re a source of magic and like the moon and stars have a divine right to be here
So look up to the sky_ heads up with a confidence that no matter what happens the compass of your life is with the creator of the heavenlies
Die A Happy Man
I’ll die on a large hectare of farmland _
Surrounded by family
With the voices of my grandchildren and their nieces and nephews
Echoing in the background
The sun will be bright but not hot, the wind will blow gently over the wrinkles of my face
With a cacophony of noise in the distance because the cats are after the chickens
While my favourite dog is beside me
My last request is to sing me my favourite hymn
While I watch the shades of worry on the faces around me
Because I kept telling them this is not the end.
I know without a doubt
I will die a very happy man_
Mamma
There’s the depth of a soul
And the width of a heartbeat
There’s the smile that remains etched like clay
Studied in the museum of life_
There’s a moment that changes your life
And a person that changes the tracjectory of your being
Some of the best persons I know were accidental_
And recently
I stumbled upon a great knowledge
That there is no will except the will of God.
I ask that the will of God which passeth all understanding
Be made evident in your life.
SEPTEMBER
Its no irony that September is deemed
The sucide awareness month
I'll tell you one thing and you best believe it
If you've always thought about killing yourself
And you don't kill yourself in September
There's a higher percentage you won't kill yourself in the year
But thats not what this is about
September is a whole treat for me
If I played the lottery all through the year and lost
I wouldn't lost in September
If I lost all hope through the year
September births new wonders
It maybe
That some of the best people I know where born in September
To many Septembers that are to come.
Don't die yet.
Premonition
Do u sometimes feel it
Like u know certain things as they happen
Before they happened
Do u think you’re mad
And that this madness might consume u whole
Do u believe in the duality of the world
The spirituality of events
Do u see the signs and still go ahead
Do u get the consequences
Have u learnt from it?
Now its time to move on
The spirits have come anew
And everything u say carries a seed
Everything u think bears a force
Whatever u feel is true
The whole world is an asylum
And I am a mad man
My helper is right here amongst u!
Do it!
Help me!!
Proximity
The story I want to tell
I can only tell you this
I’ve been wanting to say from Monday
Death is painful
And the lucky ones die young.
Air.Tel
Air and water
I’ll be fine
Grapes of redemption; Taste of chaos.
I died once
Its a feeling I still can’t recover from
But
The beautiful thing about living is there’s a first time for everything.
If I had died in 2013 when I had my bike accident
And only a vein hung between my brain and my heart
I surely would be a very decomposed corpse by now
And everyone would have been spared of my existence
But
God being God certainly does have a weird sense of humor
There were more hearts to be broken and my heart certainly wasn’t broken enough
_
So here I am living my best days in a shitty world
Experiencing new people and new taste.
_
I would have been very pissed if I died without knowing what a grape taste like
Or what it felt like to listen to the pain in people’s soul.
Or that mosquitoes don’t bother you when you don’t bother them.
_
Tomorrow is never assured.
Still I close my eyes dreaming about tomorrows
_
Grapes are addictive.
Life is addictive.
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