INN0NCENCE

I am vain, evil & corrupt
My thoughts are impure and
My actions are twisted
I yearn for the good
I want to be good
I want righteousness and innocence
But the things I know already as
dragged me beyond the threshold.
My thoughts are wild
Erotic images of nude women excite me
The photographs I shoot must be
hidden from plain sight
And most things I write are dreadful or dark.
When I see righteous people I envy them
I envy their ignorance
The innocence they have from knowing so little
I know to much
I get scared from knowing more.
Yet I keep knowing,
craving for the next quick fix of enlightenment.
I am dark, vain and corrupt
I want innocence, righteousness
To be irrevocably calm
Giving all reason to God
And all faults to the Devil
But it eludes me
I am instead my god and devil
And the good I yearn for
Is abated by the things I know,
Or crave to know…